houstonfella Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 (edited) I'm sorry, but this is too funny and I have to share. Just read it here. Flatulence Don't start: it did NOT happen in Houston, but the woman lives near Dallas. Edited December 6, 2006 by houstonfella Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Well BOOOOOOOOOOO, to American Airlines. The woman had enough decency NOT to offend everyone else with her pooting. The woman however should know that she is going on a flight, and just get it all out before boarding. Medical conditon, PHOOEY, change your diet lady, quit eating radishes and drinking milk before take off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaTrain Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 ^^^Add to the list: GO TO THE BATHROOM TO PASS GAS! Even those with medical conditions should still use common sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
houstonfella Posted December 6, 2006 Author Share Posted December 6, 2006 With my "out there" sensibilities, I happened on this article. Naturally, it would be me. Anyhow, I passed it on (guess like she passed gas) to laugh and enjoy and forget. Happy Holidays folks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston1stWordOnTheMoon Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 STUPID STUPID WOMAN!!! After the shoe bomber incident with the matches on an American Airlines flight, she is very lucky that crew and passengers didnt overreact and ban together and kill her dead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Marty Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Beans Beans the musical flute the more you eat the more you toot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidtownCoog Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Speaking of medical conditions...When I was with Southwest we banned a guy who would always urinate in the blankets due his medical condition. He was a "customer of size" who travelled the CA coast for treatment.Note to y'all: NEVER, never-ever-ever, use one of those blankets on a plane.Same goes for the pillows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston1stWordOnTheMoon Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Speaking of medical conditions...When I was with Southwest we banned a guy who would always urinate in the blankets due his medical condition. He was a "customer of size" who travelled the CA coast for treatment. Note to y'all: NEVER, never-ever-ever, use one of those blankets on a plane. Same goes for the pillows. I never had that coach experience, the blankets on my flights are always wrapped in plastic Im sure Southwest sees thier share of idiots. I have occassionally looked at the show on A&E and i must say, some of those employees have the patience of Job! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torvald Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 (edited) Speaking of medical conditions...When I was with Southwest we banned a guy who would always urinate in the blankets due his medical condition. He was a "customer of size" who travelled the CA coast for treatment. Note to y'all: NEVER, never-ever-ever, use one of those blankets on a plane. Same goes for the pillows. a rarely fly but once refused a blanket from a stewardess. she seemed irritated when i said it wasn't mine. and she said you don't have to purchase it... so i explained: no, i'd rather not use some odd blanket, thank you. she was irritated although i was polite. now i'm glad i turned it down. that was also the flight were the man sitting next to me was protruding into my seat. his very warm side area was poking out under the arm rest (which he was also using) and creeping six inches over on my seat. i was very put off by that. good argument for road trips! Edited December 6, 2006 by torvald Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 ^^^Add to the list: GO TO THE BATHROOM TO PASS GAS! Even those with medical conditions should still use common sense.I'm thinking that she did, otherwise passengers would have seen & heard her strike the matches in her seat, as well as see the smoke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
torvald Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 I'm thinking that she did, otherwise passengers would have seen & heard her strike the matches in her seat, as well as see the smoke. perhaps she should consider road trips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumapayam Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 STUPID STUPID WOMAN!!! After the shoe bomber incident with the matches on an American Airlines flight, she is very lucky that crew and passengers didnt overreact and ban together and kill her dead!She was dumb, as least use perfume or something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
native_Houstonian Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 PillowPerhaps she should get one of these.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MidtownCoog Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 And our customer of size could have used a "Little John". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJones Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 I'm thinking that she did, otherwise passengers would have seen & heard her strike the matches in her seat, as well as see the smoke. My question is, was she burning the whole friggin' book !? They ban her indefinately after admitting WHY she needed to use the matches ? How embarrassing for her, but what bravery for a woman to go on and admit that ? I would have just said I was trying to sneak a cigarette to calm my nerves. She was dumb, as least use perfume or something. What was she gonna use, TuuT by Faberge' ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston1stWordOnTheMoon Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 My question is, was she burning the whole friggin' book !? They ban her indefinately after admitting WHY she needed to use the matches ? How embarrassing for her, but what bravery for a woman to go on and admit that ? I would have just said I was trying to sneak a cigarette to calm my nerves.Matches have a very distinctive smell. Combine that with the lack of fresh air on the plane and it is not good. The air on the plane is recirculated and offensive smells will travel fast. Its the same reason people are not allowed to use nail polish remover onboard. Its loud offensive and flammable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
native_Houstonian Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 How far we have come from the days when there was actually a "smoking section" on the planes. The back of the plane looked like a London fog. Everyone was lighting up - matches, lighters, blow torches. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbigtex56 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 Here's a proposal: Put the Imams, the breast-feeders and the flatulent on the same flights, and let them duke it out. Like a bizarre game of paper/rock/scissors. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeebus Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 What was she gonna use, TuuT by Faberge' ? No, "Fart Panther". Studies show that 60% of the time, it works everytime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Houston1stWordOnTheMoon Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Here's a proposal: Put the Imams, the breast-feeders and the flatulent on the same flights, and let them duke it out.Like a bizarre game of paper/rock/scissors. You are going to cause riots in the streets of France or Belgium with this Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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